I came across an article over the weekend at the OC Register about Greg Louganis and his reflection on his life as he nears 50.

After years of turmoil about being a closeted gay, his strive for excellence in the Olympics and an abusive relationship, one can be nothing but happy for him that he has finally found peace with himself , his life and future.

Before it was “fashionable” to come out, and at the great possibility of losing endorsements, Louganis announced in 1995 he was HIV-positive and wrote his autobiography “Breaking The Surface”.

Before his HIV status became public, He considered injecting himself with a syringe full of air, with one burst blowing away all his demons once and for all. He had a change of heart and slowly came to grips with his disease, only a small group of friends aware of his secret, according to the article at the OC Register.

While it’s not easy for anyone to be in the closet, throw into the mix being of celebrity status and having the knowledge you are HIV-postive with very few people you can trust to talk about your overall situation in life, Louganis certainly deserves another gold medal for making it as far as he has.

Good guys always finish first, it may take awhile, but nonetheless they succeed.

Writer’s Note – This was published at Focus On The Rainbow/Hearst on July 27, 2009 with the original title “Greg Louganis …. One Of The Good Guys”. You’ll find a link to Louganis’ website here.

The Los Angeles Times reported today that veteran of 23 years LA Times sportswriter Mike Penner has been found dead in his Los Angeles home apparently by suicide. Penner the on again, off again, transsexual was 52.

In 2007, Penner announced to his readers that he was taking a vacation and would return to the sports desk a few weeks later as “Christine Daniels”. In his column on April 26, 2007, Penner wrote, I am a transsexual sportswriter. It has taken more than 40 years, a million tears and hundreds of hours of soul-wrenching therapy for me to work up the courage to type those words. I realize many readers and colleagues and friends will be shocked to read them.

As Daniels, Penner got more than his “15 minutes of fame” as he was featured in Sports Illustrated, gave speeches including at the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association Convention in August of 2007, was honored by transgender groups for “her courage” and wrote a blog for the LA Times titled “Woman In Progress.”

But all that changed in October 2008 when Penner had a change of heart, when he retired Daniels and became Penner again, in what some have called “transgender regret”. The blog and by-lines of Daniels disappeared, and fortunately for Penner he never had a sex-change operation, otherwise he would have been known as “Penner the Eunuch”.

Despite researching for this posting, this writer could not find any quotes from Penner as to why he reverted back to Penner. The LA Times reports it will have a full obit at a later date for Penner and perhaps later it will be known, whether by fact or speculation, as to why Penner put Daniels back in the closet. But don’t expect a followup here, I post this only as a news event of a sportswriter’s death and not delving into the mind of a man who couldn’t decide what he wanted to be.

For that follow up you’ll have to seek out any number of transgender bloggers who will see this as a great tragedy.

Tragic yes that a man does himself in, but transgenders such as Autumn Sandeen at Pam’s House Blend will forget the obviously troubled man who committed suicide and turn this into a great tragedy for transgenderhood. And has turned into a pity party for, not Penner, but Sandeen at PHB.